Beyond "I Do"
God's Secret to Marriage
In today's world, relationships are more disposable than ever. Just look at how we date… We swipe left and right, jump from one relationship to the next, and often see commitment as a burden instead of a blessing. But God created marriage to be different. He designed it to be a covenant, not just a contract.
What's the difference?
We've been talking about this in our sermon series, Sozo: Covenant, so check out the link at the bottom to catch up on past messages. In this series, I go into detail about covenant versus contract, and I think it'll give you a better foundation as we apply these truths to marriage.
At its core, God designed marriage to be a covenant. This is NOT a human invention! Marriage is something sacred, established by God, to reflect Christ's relationship with His Church.
Today, marriage has been stripped of its sacred and divine purpose, and many people approach it more like a business deal. What do I get out of it? What if one person doesn't hold up their end of the bargain? It's become transactional—a temporary agreement based on individual needs and expectations—a contract.
But a covenant is different. It's a sacred promise, a commitment to love and cherish each other, no matter what. It's about putting your spouse's needs before your own and working together to build a strong, lasting relationship that reflects God's love and faithfulness. It's relational, perpetual, and given through surrender rather than negotiation.
We've been talking about this in our sermon series, Sozo: Covenant, so check out the link at the bottom to catch up on past messages. In this series, I go into detail about covenant versus contract, and I think it'll give you a better foundation as we apply these truths to marriage.
At its core, God designed marriage to be a covenant. This is NOT a human invention! Marriage is something sacred, established by God, to reflect Christ's relationship with His Church.
Today, marriage has been stripped of its sacred and divine purpose, and many people approach it more like a business deal. What do I get out of it? What if one person doesn't hold up their end of the bargain? It's become transactional—a temporary agreement based on individual needs and expectations—a contract.
But a covenant is different. It's a sacred promise, a commitment to love and cherish each other, no matter what. It's about putting your spouse's needs before your own and working together to build a strong, lasting relationship that reflects God's love and faithfulness. It's relational, perpetual, and given through surrender rather than negotiation.
Love Like Jesus
The best example of covenant love is Jesus himself. He gave up everything for you, even His own life! He didn't wait for you to be perfect or to earn His love; He loves you unconditionally, sacrificially, and eternally. That's the kind of love you're called to have for your spouse—a love that mirrors Christ's love for the Church.
Ephesians 5:25 provides a powerful mandate: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This is the standard for covenant love in marriage.
This means putting your spouse's needs before your own, forgiving freely, and always seeking their good. It's about choosing to love them, even when it's hard, even when they don't deserve it.
The best example of covenant love is Jesus himself. He gave up everything for you, even His own life! He didn't wait for you to be perfect or to earn His love; He loves you unconditionally, sacrificially, and eternally. That's the kind of love you're called to have for your spouse—a love that mirrors Christ's love for the Church.
Ephesians 5:25 provides a powerful mandate: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This is the standard for covenant love in marriage.
This means putting your spouse's needs before your own, forgiving freely, and always seeking their good. It's about choosing to love them, even when it's hard, even when they don't deserve it.
Building a New Family
When you get married, you're not just starting a new life together; you're creating a brand new family. It's a chance to leave behind any unhealthy patterns from your past and build something beautiful and new, a legacy of love and faith for generations to come.
However, this doesn't happen automatically. Without intentionality and a willingness to learn and grow together, we will default to what was modeled for us, whether healthy or not.
If you want to create a marriage where you both feel loved, respected, and valued, then it must be rooted in Christ. Only His love and His teachings can foster an environment that encourages each person in your home to pursue their God-given potential.
When you get married, you're not just starting a new life together; you're creating a brand new family. It's a chance to leave behind any unhealthy patterns from your past and build something beautiful and new, a legacy of love and faith for generations to come.
However, this doesn't happen automatically. Without intentionality and a willingness to learn and grow together, we will default to what was modeled for us, whether healthy or not.
If you want to create a marriage where you both feel loved, respected, and valued, then it must be rooted in Christ. Only His love and His teachings can foster an environment that encourages each person in your home to pursue their God-given potential.
More Than Just a Relationship
Marriage isn't just about personal happiness or societal stability; it's about reflecting God's love to the world. When you love and honor your spouse, you're showing others what God's love is like—a love that's selfless, forgiving, and enduring.
Your marriage can be a powerful testimony to a world that's desperately searching for authentic connection and lasting love. Even those who don't know God can witness His beautiful design for human relationships in your marriage!
Marriage isn't just about personal happiness or societal stability; it's about reflecting God's love to the world. When you love and honor your spouse, you're showing others what God's love is like—a love that's selfless, forgiving, and enduring.
Your marriage can be a powerful testimony to a world that's desperately searching for authentic connection and lasting love. Even those who don't know God can witness His beautiful design for human relationships in your marriage!
Meeting Each Other's Needs
In a healthy marriage, both partners feel loved and valued. Wives need to feel cherished and protected, knowing that their husbands are committed to their well-being. Husbands need to feel respected and honored, knowing that their wives believe in them and support their leadership.
When you prioritize meeting your spouse's needs above your own, and when your spouse does the same, you both create a powerful foundation for your relationship. This fosters an environment of trust, intimacy, and mutual support, where both of you can thrive and grow together in love.
In a healthy marriage, both partners feel loved and valued. Wives need to feel cherished and protected, knowing that their husbands are committed to their well-being. Husbands need to feel respected and honored, knowing that their wives believe in them and support their leadership.
When you prioritize meeting your spouse's needs above your own, and when your spouse does the same, you both create a powerful foundation for your relationship. This fosters an environment of trust, intimacy, and mutual support, where both of you can thrive and grow together in love.
Honoring Each Other Matters
1 Peter 3:7 offers a sobering insight: how husbands treat their wives can actually impact the effectiveness of their prayers! When you treat your partner with tenderness and respect, you align yourself with God's heart and open the door for His blessings in your life.
This means speaking kindly to each other, forgiving quickly, and always seeking to build each other up. It's about recognizing the value and worth of your spouse and treating them with the same love and respect that you would show to Christ himself.
1 Peter 3:7 offers a sobering insight: how husbands treat their wives can actually impact the effectiveness of their prayers! When you treat your partner with tenderness and respect, you align yourself with God's heart and open the door for His blessings in your life.
This means speaking kindly to each other, forgiving quickly, and always seeking to build each other up. It's about recognizing the value and worth of your spouse and treating them with the same love and respect that you would show to Christ himself.
Practical Steps for a Stronger Marriage
Here are some things you can do to build a stronger, more loving marriage:
Here are some things you can do to build a stronger, more loving marriage:
- Put your spouse first: Prioritize sacrificial love over personal comfort.
- Talk openly and honestly: Communicate your thoughts and feelings with kindness and respect.
- Forgive quickly: Don't hold onto grudges or past hurts. Forgive as God has forgiven you.
- Serve each other with joy: Look for ways to bless and support your spouse.
- Pray together: Invite God into every aspect of your relationship.
- See the best in each other: Focus on your spouse's strengths and affirm their value.
Do You Need to Shift?
Whether you're newly married, have been together for decades, or are single and contemplating marriage, embracing this covenant perspective can be transformative. It's never too late to shift from a contractual mindset to a covenant one.
Whether you're newly married, have been together for decades, or are single and contemplating marriage, embracing this covenant perspective can be transformative. It's never too late to shift from a contractual mindset to a covenant one.
Hope for Struggling Marriages
If your marriage is going through a tough time, don't give up! God can bring healing and restoration. Start by surrendering your relationship to Him and asking for His guidance. Seek out wise counsel from trusted friends or mentors, and be willing to do the hard work of forgiveness, communication, and reconciliation.
If your marriage is going through a tough time, don't give up! God can bring healing and restoration. Start by surrendering your relationship to Him and asking for His guidance. Seek out wise counsel from trusted friends or mentors, and be willing to do the hard work of forgiveness, communication, and reconciliation.
A Legacy of Love
A strong marriage isn't just a blessing for you and your spouse; it's a gift to your children and future generations. It's a chance to show them what real love looks like and leave a legacy of faith and commitment.
By investing in your marriage, you're not only strengthening your own relationship but also creating a ripple effect that will impact your family and community for years to come.
So, let's build marriages that honor God, bless our families, and change the world! Let's commit to loving our spouses sacrificially, honoring them deeply, and reflecting God's love to everyone around us.
A strong marriage isn't just a blessing for you and your spouse; it's a gift to your children and future generations. It's a chance to show them what real love looks like and leave a legacy of faith and commitment.
By investing in your marriage, you're not only strengthening your own relationship but also creating a ripple effect that will impact your family and community for years to come.
So, let's build marriages that honor God, bless our families, and change the world! Let's commit to loving our spouses sacrificially, honoring them deeply, and reflecting God's love to everyone around us.